My friends and I
spent the week wondering how exactly one starts sword
swallowing. Carrot sticks? Pocky? Butter knife? Fencing
sword? Very curious.
Missed the throat!
Adam and I arranged
to hold the lesson in my lower east
side apartment. After some heckling and loving
encouragement from the guys I work with, I was able to
slip out early to get home for my first session. Running
late I called Adam from two blocks away, to let him know I
was almost here. I saw a big man standing in the snowy
twilight outside my house holding a long kevlar
bag…obviously the guy. Standing at about 6’3” with a
handlebar moustache, cowboy shirt, slicked back pompadour,
and thick Buddy Holly glasses, Adam’s style undoubtedly
said “barker.”
He began by
speaking about the anatomical aspect
of sword swallowing. The human body has five gag reflexes,
five points within the act of swallowing that need to be
controlled as the sword slides into your body. First there
is the tongue. Most people have that one covered. Then
there is the back of the throat—the bulimics best
friend—most commonly known as the gag reflex. Next there
is the voice box, which is a hard lump resting in between
the collar bones. This is followed by the esophagus, which
is unsettlingly close to your heart. And finally, there is
the stomach, the last stop on the sword swallowing train.
Each one of these gag reflexes will react accordingly as I
swallow the sword, and each one will be a new challenge
to overcome as I get further and further in my practice.
By further in my practice, I mean of course, further into
my body.
After explaining
the various stages of “gag” that the sword swallower
overcomes with each swallow, Adam demonstrated the act as
I watched his posture, gestures, breath and timing. Before
demonstrating he gave the disclaimer that sword
swallowing, like riding a bicycle, is something you will
never forget how to do, but if you are rusty, the first
attempts will be “rough.” Adam hadn’t swallowed in about a
month, so as the sword slid down his throat and into his
body he retched and gagged, guttural sounds expelling from
the sight. It wasn’t terribly pleasant. He pulled the
sword out elegantly but with a final gag and said “so, you
can see it takes a little practice to get back into it
smoothly.” He assured me that you just get used to the
gagging, its not a big deal, and just comes with the
territory. He explained that a cold sword will also cause
gagging, so its good to keep them in a warm place before
practicing.
It was finally time
for me to start my work. But with what? He pulls out of
his bag a simple wire coathanger. Oh no, this seems a bit
provocative, botched abortion, anyone? He bends the
coathanger from the center bottom, pulling the shape
straight like an outline of a blade with a hook at the
top, the bottom curved and about an inch of space between
the two wires. He gives me a green Brillo pad and some
listerine mouthwash, saying that he is very careful about
using these to sterilize his blades every time. He tells
me about Heather Holiday, the young resident swallower at
the Coney Island Sideshow. “She’ll let little kids touch
them and put them on the ground and then she’ll swallow
them immediately after. She doesn’t seem to mind. Me, I
get a bit anal about keeping everything clean. I worry
about infections and stuff.”
Part of the Maze
We thoroughly clean
the tool, making sure to Brillo off any coating on the
wire that could flake off in my body. Before starting he
directs me to get out a trash bin, “just in case,” and I
place it at my feet. I stand with my feet firmly planted,
hip width apart. Shake my body loose, relax anything that
could be tight internally. I lick along the length of the
two-foot wire “sword” to lubricate the metal, and with a
big breath in I lift my head and pull the wire as straight
as possible above my mouth. Exhaling, I slowly lower the
wire into my mouth, to the back of my throat. Trying to
utilize body mindfulness and non-judgmental concentration
of sensation, I feel the hard cold metal in the top of my
throat, and then a little deeper, slowly proceeding to a
few inches into my neck. Very quickly and involuntarily
the sword comes out with a deep, body shaking gag.
It didn’t go very
far. Adam assured me that was a good start, I went slowly,
and mindfully, good posture, not forcing it. Then I was to
do it again. Which seemed extremely unappealing, but alas,
this is what I want to do. So I go again. Same motions,
possibly went a touch further in, and then a retching
expulsion of the wire coat hanger. Again. Again. Again. I
felt like I was doing internal weight lifting, my
esophagus exhausted with each repetition.
We stopped to
discuss practicing. Adam said that I might benefit from
taking a moment to breath, concentrate, and center myself
before each practice, since I seem to work well with
mindfulness practice. My homework was to swallow the wire
coat hanger seven times in a row, three times a day.
Twenty-one swallows a day until I got the entire 18”
length of hanger down. Then I would be upgraded to an
actual metal blade. That which is called the “goddess
sword.”
We finished the
class session by reviewing his sword collection as he
explained how each one is used in performance.
“The Goddess Sword”
A charming little thing, about 18” long, and less than an
inch wide, has a sexy naked woman on the handle. He said
this sword was his first sword he swallowed, and is how he
starts his show. My first sword will be a similar sort of
item.
The next one is a
little longer, perhaps 28” in length, with a cheesy snake
design on the handle. This sword is more impressive but
still a good manageable size. He explains that this sword
is light enough and short enough that he can get it lined
up and then let it slide in hands free with a few gentle
hops.
His show stopper is
a pirate-y looking broadsword, with a blood groove running
through the blade and a big brass sheath over the handle.
Measuring in over three feet long and weighing a ton, this
sword looks frightening to swallow. He attached a silky
tassel on the end for flair, which I found sort of cute.
He explained that this one was a challenge, it was long
enough and heavy enough that if he let go after swallowing
it would puncture through the bottom of his stomach. He
also explained that the blood groove, a groove running
down the center of the entire length of blade, was quite
uncomfortable in the body.
After showing me a
few other “tricks” he had laying around—human block head,
a party-popper trick, etc—we bid farewell, agreeing to
meet after I returned from India to work on advancing my
skills. Now it was time to practice. Practice all the
time.
Continue to Part 3
